It Felt Right
by j0bbernowl
Summary: Confessions to a best friend are always the hardest. Kendall/Logan


It Felt Right

"God, I don't even know why I'm telling you this," Kendall moaned, dropping his head into his hands.

"Erm," was Logan's intelligent reply. The fact was that Kendall hadn't actually told him a whole lot of anything in the past ten minutes. It had mostly been stutters and half-finished sentences muttered at the carpet while Kendall alternately paled and blushed. Logan wasn't used to not understanding what was going on. He didn't like the feeling. "Is this something about…about Jo?" he hedged, mentally crossing his fingers that this would get them somewhere.

"I don't even _like_ Jo," Kendall snapped, then paled again. "Fuck," he breathed.

"Then…break up with her?" Logan was struggling to understand. None of them were that great with heart-to-hearts, but this was ridiculous.

"You don't understand," Kendall said, with more than a touch of frustration.

"Obviously not," Logan replied in kind. Kendall finally met Logan's eyes for a moment before glancing away again. A niggling suspicion that something _more_ was going on here began poking at the edges of Logan's consciousness.

"I've…I've never liked Jo. I just wanted to like her. I _really_ wanted to like her," Kendall added with a strange intensity to his voice, staring at Logan pleadingly. Logan was taken aback. That niggling suspicion was growing alarm sirens. He couldn't remember the last time he had seen Kendall like this; in fact, he didn't think there _was_ a last time.

"O-okay, man. I get it, you wanted to like Jo, but you don't." Logan nodded like he knew what was going on. This "heart-to-heart" junk felt bloody _girly_. Christ, why was he the only one smart and sensitive enough to handle it? He'd bail and go get James, but James would no doubt only make things worse. Didn't they have any female friends who could work their emotional-empathy magic?

A vein was working in Kendall's neck as he clenched and unclenched his jaw. He apparently wasn't going to be speaking again any time soon. The ball was still in Logan's court. "So, um, do you like someone else or something?" Kendall's head shot up. His friend licked his lips nervously. Logan seemed to be getting somewhere. "Um…is it Camille?" he tried, secretly hoping it _was_ his stalker. He would be only too happy to pawn her off on Kendall and finally be able to walk around the Palm Woods alone without the threat of being ambushed. His hopes were dashed when Kendall shook his head. "Er, one of the Jennifers?" he asked without much confidence.

"_No_," Kendall replied with a mirthless laugh.

"Mercedes? Sandy? Stephanie?" Logan listed three of the prettier girls they knew. He'd go down the entire list if he had to.

"Not…girls. I don't like…girls." Kendall stuttered. He ran a hand through his light brown hair and closed his eyes.

Oh. _Oh._ "You're _gay_?" Logan whispered. Kendall winced.

"Yeah," he replied in the smallest voice Logan had ever heard.

"_What_? But what—what ab—what about that time a few days ago," Logan spluttered, "when Carlos was telling James how _faggy_ his pink bandana looked, and you fucking _laughed_?"

"I don't—"

"Or what about when those two Asian dudes were making out by the pool for that video, and you fake puked?"

"What do you—"

"Or when you—"

"What are you _talking_ about?" Kendall begged, waving his hands for silence, apparently startled out of his despondency by Logan's outburst. "Why do you even _care_? I was just trying to be _normal_, goddammit. That's not the point here—that's not what's important! Shouldn't you be all weirded out now? Or did you not hear? I'm. Gay." Kendall finished on his feet, flinging his arms out as if preparing to receive a volley of insults.

"And I'm bisexual, jackass, but that hasn't sent me into some shame-filled repression-spiral. _I _told you guys to stop being such pricks whenever you spouted your homophobic crap, but I—"

"Hold on," Kendall said, holding up a finger and cutting him off, "you're bi?"

"What's it the fuck to you?" Logan knew he was regressing about ten years in his anger, but for the time being, he couldn't bring himself to care.

"Jesus, why didn't you _tell_ me?" Kendall sounded almost winded.

"Because I thought I was surrounded by homophobic dickheads?"

This conversation was so far out of what Logan was comfortable with that he had no idea how to rein it in anymore. For starters, he hadn't really meant to reveal his sexuality to anyone until college, but it was a moot point now.

"Well, you weren't." Kendall said, sitting back down hard on the bed behind him. Logan stared at the wall, mind racing. They sat in silence for some time. "So, um, what's you type?" Kendall finally asked, with just enough of a smirk to his voice to make Logan seriously consider punching him.

"Seriously, Kendall? This isn't a joke. You know what? Fuck you. I'm outta here." He pushed himself to his feet and headed for the door. He heard Kendall scrambling to follow, but didn't stop. Kendall might be the unofficial leader of the band, but dammit if he wasn't an idiot when it came to more delicate matters.

He would have successfully executed his plan of flipping Kendall the bird and slamming the door in his face had his friend not caught up with him first. A hand caught his shoulder and he wheeled around to face Kendall, who opened his mouth to say something angry. Logan narrowed his eyes and waited. Kendall closed his mouth, then opened and closed it again. He looked like a fish. "Logan. Please," he finally managed.

Logan closed his eyes and sighed heavily. He knew when to give up. "So you're gay," he said, quirking the corner of his mouth.

"So you're bi," Kendall whispered. "What are the odds of that? Don't tell me," he added as Logan opened his mouth to rattle off the numbers. "I mean, it's perfect."

"What is?" Logan asked warily. As far as he could see, there was nothing 'perfect' about being half-queer.

"Logan…canIkissyou?" Kendall asked in a rush. Logan stared at him, watching his face go through six shades of pink.

_What?_ he meant to say, but it somehow came out as "…yeah."

And then Kendal's chapped lips were fitting into his, and his eyes were closing, and Kendall's laundry-detergent-and-soap scent was filling his nose, and there was just enough pressure to make it count, and then Kendall was pulling back and it was over. Logan had the strangest urge to collapse against Kendall's chest. He fought it down, slightly frightened by it.

Logan opened his eyes to find Kendall looking slightly panicked. "I'm sorry," Kendall murmured. "It's just—I just—"

"Kendall…" Logan began slowly, "do you…like me?"

The deep crimson of Kendall's face was all the answer Logan needed.

Logan spun around and raked his fingers through his hair. He really, really didn't know how he felt about that.

Except that he did. He remembered the feel of Kendall's lips and the insane instinct to snuggle into him. Hell, his own subconscious had overridden his initial negative response to Kendall's advance! If he were being honest with himself, he knew how he felt about Kendall. Maybe, in some deep and buried part of himself, he had _always_ known.

Rational, intelligent boy that he was, he spent about two seconds considering all the unfortunate repercussions his next actions were going to have: James' and Carlos' reactions, Jo's reaction, the loss of any semblance of normalcy, what would happen if the press caught wind of this…

And then he spun back around, sunk his fingers into his friend's hair, and kissed Kendall harder than he'd ever kissed anyone in his life.

It felt right.


End file.
